"Turn to the page of top 4". So said me in a mild state of stupor. And the statement was realized to be wrong, but still came out the same way 3-4 times.

Bye bye brain cells... you'll be sorely missed. *waves*

And... thanks guys (Jas, Jan, Jase, Diane) for being so quick today. Sorry for freaking you all out! Continue praying for me pls... i had no idea i was that exhausted.

Weird things happened today.

For starters, i boarded the bus, found an empty seat near the front, and sat myself down. It was one of those parallel seats. Next thing i know, the lady on my left seated on a front-facing seat was talking to the girl on my right on the parallel seat. And they were talking to another elderly lady on the other front-facing seat at the opposite end of the aisle. And to the guy on the opposite parallel seat. Oh my... THEY ARE A FAMILY. So it was quite weird really, because I was really literally in the middle of all the action. And when the mother went "xiao jie, *blah blah blah*" i looked up coz well, yups. Then she motioned that she was talking to the girl. *faints* And when i alighted from the bus, the girl said "BYE BYE!".

More bus adventures. One lady who sat next to me on another bus was looking at my phone screen the whole time i was sms-ing. Then as i tilted my phone away, she CRANED HER NECK FURTHER. Talk about a lack of a sense of personal space... Finally she got the hint when my phone was practically parallel to the window. And when i alighted, she GLARED at me! I was speechless... you try to peek into my phone and you glare at me for being rude and not letting you see what i'm writing to my friends?

Then we went ktv. Now, when i say ktv, i'm not kidding. it's not k-box. it's Dynasty, ktv lounge along selegie road. At night, a lup sup place. In the noon, a really cheap place for karaoke. It's $5 for a drink (everyone must get one), and $5 per hour for the room. Not per person. My karaoke junkie friends tell me that's really cheap! Oh so anyway i got to see what a ktv looks like inside. You come out of the lift and TADAH! Billboards of the top girls there. They all looked like they were from a certain mainland. And then... on the windows of the ktv rooms were the signs "No peeking please." Right...

Oh! another bus adventure. an ang moh girl paid for her bus ride with cash, and her ticket apparently expired at dempsey. so when she got up to alight at my stop (holland v.), the bus driver stopped the bus, refused to open the doors, and called her to the front. so all of us had to wait at the door patiently as she made her way to the front. Then and only then did the bus driver open the door for all of us! conscientious bus driver... bus perhaps that explained why the bus CRAWLED from dhoby gauht to holland v...

alright. enough ranting about weird things for the day...

Layouts done in the month of January! It was a really productive month!

I'm back from Hanoi, and down with a très terrible case of travel sickness. And it's coz' of that that I've got time to myself... to think things through... and to share them on this blog.

Hanoi was great (minus tourist traps and unauthentic food), especially Ha Long bay. We were out on this Chinese junk... and it was marvellous how the 26 of us could find a corner of the junk to admire the scenary and think.

Frankly, these couple of weeks have been quite rough for me. I've had to grapple with considering whether to serve as adult choir conductor. And with the goals for 2008. And finding my passions. And in the midst of it all, there were so many considerations. Thanks Jas, Jan, Jase, Ben for listening to me and helping me sort out my thoughts. Well, after the music comm meeting... i find myself not just the adults choir conductor. I find myself the HOD of the music department in the music committee. Which is just about everything. Which overwhelmed me. Now, i know full well that God's given me this musical ability... and i know full well that if this is the path God has meant for me to take, that He will give me the strength. It's just... right then i felt oh so vulnerable and tired and taken advantage of and helpless.

During the trip to Hanoi, we saw so many eagles. And i've never seen so many eagles at one go before. Some familiar verses came to mind...

"28 Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

29 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."

Isaiah 40:28-31, ESV

And so, I was humbled. I know that 2008 is going to be a challenging year ahead. My health isn't good. I'm mentally unprepared. I'm emotionally battered. And such a wreak is going to head music department in church. Right now, all I know is that God will carry me through. He's been faithful, and His grace is enough to carry me through. I will trust in God, because I know He is in control of the whole situation and will turn all this brokenness and horribleness into something that is glorifying to Him. I will rest secure because I know that God is in control. God, help me.

Oh, The Mercy of God
Oh, the mercy of God, the glory of grace,
That You chose to redeem us, to forgive and restore,
And You call us Your children, chosen in Him
To be holy and blameless to the glory of God.

To the praise of His glorious grace,
To the praise of His glory and power;
To Him be all glory, honour and praise
Forever and ever and ever, amen.

Oh, the richness of grace, the depths of His love,
In Him is redemption, the forgiveness of sin.
You called us as righteous, predestined in Him
For the praise of His glory, included in Christ.

Oh, the glory of God expressed in His Son,
His image and likeness revealed to us all;
The plea of the ages completed in Christ,
That we be presented perfected in Him.

Geoff Bullock
Copyright © 1997 Watershed Productions/Kingsway's Thankyou Music